Monday, April 30, 2012
Wow, that took a while...
As most of your know, chemo impacts your memory and scatters your thoughts. Today, I JUST remembered my password to the blog. Oh yeah, I could have done that whole, "Don't remember your password?" thing, and I would click it but then it would get too hard requiring me to remember more things than I could and then I would get distracted with something else - much like a toddler....nice...sorry. So, the answer to last Thursday question was, "Yes, I made it to both Mason's field trip and Nolan's garden party!" Mason's field trip was adorable and I really can't believe how well behaved they were. It was just me and the teacher and it was fine. We didn't lose anybody and we only had one bathroom "emergency". Mason's teacher asked me to take him and he looked at me with those eyes like, "I ain't gonna make it!" and I was like, "Well, THIS is something I can relate too!" I told him we would and with a little fast moving a lot of excuse us' we did. When I left, he asked if I could go on the next field trip with them and I said, "As many as I can buddy." Smile. Nolan's garden party was great. I am not sure the rows of flowers and veges will be particularly straight, but they are planted! I was happy to go to both, but I didn't do much in between or on Friday. It was good to push myself and motivation to not break Mason's heart was incentive enough. The weekend was good outside of Grant and I getting into a bad fight. Y'know, for anyone out there that thinks that we don't fight or that our priorities are so perfect, please know that 90% of the time we don't and we do, but mix exhaustion from work, kids, cancer treatment, t-ball, toss ball, errands, medical insurance companies, and a relationship together and sometimes you just don't want to get in the car with your spouse even though he follows you and asks you twice to get in the car and you reply with, "I would rather die on the side of the road than get in the car with you." Now remember, I am not a girl that whines or says stuff she doesn't mean. I MEANT it and he KNEW it. Amazing how much anger can fuel energy. I was thoroughly exhausted when I got home and he was thoroughly concerned that I walked all that way. I needed the walk and on it a lot happened. Episode #1 - I divorced him, thought about who would get the house, and how we would split the kids...etc... Episode #2 I strangled him, but then the kids would really be put out...etc... Episode #3 etc. etc. etc. By the time I got home it all just seemed too difficult and consequence ridden, so I opted for working on the marriage. I was way better. Quite calm actually. In any case, we gave each other the time we needed to get back on track. In addition, we went to bed at 8:30 that night - and I mean sleep. Sunday was 9:30 - and I mean sleep. Much better now.....Love, Ang
Posted by Angela Clarno at 2:09 PM