Tuesday, October 21, 2008

No chemo today

Out of 19 rounds, I have always been ready for chemo. However, my episodes have been getting worse and this morning I wanted to rip my head off, but I was determined to go to chemo. So, I went. After seeing my oncologist, he said, you are going upstairs to see your colon/rectal doctor. After seeing him, I found out that the pain is not in my head, I am not a wimp, and I would have been foolish not to say anything because, and get this, yep, this "condition" only gets better and more romantic every day.........ready???.......you sure?????????........I HAVE AN INFECTED FISSURE. Yep, I have an infection in my butt and I am going into surgery today. If I would have had chemo, the infection would have spread like wildfire, I couldn't have had surgery because Avastin makes you bleed like a "stuffed pig" (I have never used that expression, but I understand it after today), and I would be worse off than I am now. Surgery at 5:00 today. I have a followup appointment with my surgeon next Tuesday. If I am released by him, my oncologist get to decide what to do with me then. So, for my perspective, my schedule may have gone to hell, I may be doing chemo when Jane is here during Thanksgiving which makes me mad, etc. The only thing I thought I could control is no more. HOWEVER, when my surgeon said, "What I can promise you is that your next bowel movement will be a good one.", I exhaled and said, "Okay.....it is all going to be good again!" I know - any "normal" person wouldn't think that was good. Or would they? I hardly know anymore. Sorry, no funny stories today....just haven't had it in me with all of this. Hope you are all have a good day. I will be come around 5:00!!!! Love, Ang

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Angie,

Can I can "Oh Shit". You did not need this today or any other day. The good thing is your have a excellent doctor who knows how to take care of you. Get this surgery behind you..is that a pun?...and then on to the next round of chemo. We are all pulling for you. Hugs, Coach Pam

Allison said...

I think the expression is "stuck pig" but I got a little giggle out of "stuffed pig"

I think of you every day and am keeping my fingers crossed that your next "BM" is a good one.

auntie Jane said...

Girl! I'm comin out there and if I just get to see you for five minutes and hold your hand for one minute, my Thanksgiving will be complete. I'll freeze the pecan pie for you.
Now about this fissure...I'm so glad you don't have to be miserable with it's nasty pain for one more day, or have the added complications that chemo, today, would have brought. But,- Jeez Louise- when did surgery in your south become a relief??? May the force be with you. Love Jane

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweetie, I am longing for the day when nothing is causing pain to your beautiful derriere. That day will come soon, and this day just took you one step closer to it. Wish I could be there to make you roll your eyes at my inane jokes and vaudeville antics. I am thinking of you, and eating yummy chocolate in your honor. xoxoxo
Your pal always,
Laurie

Anonymous said...

Dear Ang' Think of the warmest most cozy comforter you can imagine, it is softer than down smoother than merino wool and when you are in it's folds nothing can disturb you, trouble you or discomfort you. That comforter is the collective love and affection that all of us feel for you, that we want now to enfold you in and soothe you with. All who read this please add your strength to our collective wrap of spiritual protection. Love you, pat&mag

Anonymous said...

Hope the surgery is already giving you tremendous relief and that you're starting to feel better and better each day!

Take care, my dear!
MC