Thursday, March 13, 2008

Waiting....

The scan went well on Tuesday except they made me drink Barium again!!! I hate that stuff. What is worse is they flavor it now with Banana or Vanilla and call it a "smoothie". Do they think I am high????? I chose Banana so that Vanilla wasn't ruined for me forever. So, I hadn't eaten in 12 hours and the previous 24 I only had protein and fat. Yummy. Then, I get to have a Barium Banana Smoothie and a radioactive dye shot. Sit for one hour without doing anything including TV, reading, etc. I mean NOTHING and for those of you who know me that is a bit of a trick. After that, they get me on the hard table put your hands over head and stick you in a tube for 40 minutes, inject you with more crap that makes you feel like you wet your pants, take more pictures, and finally you are done. This time I opened my eyes in the tube and said to myself, "This is pretty roomy, why does everyone get freaked out?!?!?!" Oh yeah, on the way out they give you peanuts that are IMPOSSIBLE to open especially since you are SO hungry and want to vomit. By 6:00pm, I felt a bit better and Tuesday night I slept so well. Wednesday was pretty good. Karissa helped me with the kids and we went to the park. I didn't think about the scan until 2:00 this morning. I had woken up after having a dream about today. I was sitting in the room with Dr. Kaplan and Grant and he gave me great news, then it rewound and he gave me good news, then it rewound and he gave me bad news. I was watching myself from the corner of the room. I cried in every episode. I least I know I shouldn't wear make up today. Needless to say I didn't sleep much after that, so I am a bit tired. I finally fell back to sleep around 5:00, but that is a lot of time to think. Probably too much. Grant said to me as he left, "It is okay to be nervous, but we don't know so don't worry too much." I remember telling that to employees that I worked with and now I think what a gigantic load of crap! Clearly, I never had anything like this. That is why I always liked hiring older people than me. They didn't sweat the small stuff and I always admired their life experience. Well, there was one I didn't like, but let's not focus on her. Anyhoo, the stream of consciousness has come to an end. I will post the results as soon as I can. My appointment is at 2:20. Have a great day, Ang

1 comment:

karen said...

we are all waiting and praying with you.