Pre Christmas Break Parenting vs. End of Christmas Break Parenting

Pre Christmas Break

Nolan:  Mason hit me!
Mom:  Mason, stop hitting your brother.  What is going on?  Let's talk about it.
All discuss...everyone goes away happy.....

End of Christmas Break

Nolan:  Mason is hitting me!!!!
Mom:  Did you deserve it?!?!?!
Nolan:  Well, kinda.
Mom:  Well then????
Everyone goes away happy.....

Merry Christmas!!!!

Our Christmas month has been a busy one.  In fact, there was so much soccer and hockey there was not much energy for Christmasy things.  I even started to worry.  I wanted to go see Scuba Santa at Zoo Lights this year and Nolan was like, "Been there, done that."  He is SEVEN.  Then, they were turning into materialistic freaks and Mason said, "I am going to be super angry if I do not get a Traxxas Slash from Santa!" Yep, MASON, the sweet one said that.  So, this month has been full of teachable moments.  Isn't that jolly good fun?!?!?!  I actually sat Mason down and told him two things....I said, "You have figured out how this Santa thing works by now.  So, when you say things to me or your Dad like that it is really hurtful.  Mason, I also may have done you a disservice.  See, when I was little, I made a Santa list every year and EVERY YEAR I got nothing on the list.  Don't get me wrong - I was plenty spoiled, I just never got what I asked for.  So, with you and Nolan, I wanted to get EXACTLY what you wanted and that backfired on me last year when you got not the EXACT Lego you wanted, and don't say it didn't, I have it on video."  Mason replied, "Yep, I remember."  "Mason, I want you to have everything in the world, but they way that we live you need to remember that it takes time.  I sale shop, use coupons, membership rewards, etc.  I can't just jump in the car and buy a $300 remote control car that, by the way, has a minimum age requirement of 15 years of age."  "Mom, I know.  I am sorry - this has just taken me over."  I said, "Yep, so let me tell you another story.  Do you that I have spent one quarter (we are doing fractions) of my Christmas' working at places that have to get outside families to buy gifts for the kids/students because if they do not they will probably wake up on Christmas morning with nothing....not even a tree?  So, here is what I need you to do:  1. Adjust yourself because you are not getting a $300 remote control car for Christmas.  2.  See what you get for Christmas.  3.  Think about the kids that have NOTHING - list or not."  We hugged and in a couple days balance was restored.  They helped with Christmas cards, Nolan needs to work on the spelling of Christmas, but yeah, his is SEVEN.  They helped with cookies while singing Christmas songs to the radio and no one is talking about a stupid $300 remote control car.  Now, I have not gotten them to leave the house to see anything Christmasy, but Netflix had a couple cute movies.  For those of you that missed it, yes, I did Christmas cards this year.  I am no longer as perfect as I used to be at it.  I could only make 40 because I forgot to order more envelopes and I used a bunch that I got for $1 a box a couple years ago (those of you that get those will know why).  There is no card hierarchy just in case you are upset by what you got.  It was grab, sign, stuff, stamp, and send.  I did have a cute story which I will attach at the end if you do not get a card.....now, if you usually get a card and moved in the last 7 years, you probably will not get one unless you send me your address by NEXT DECEMBER.  Shop is closed for this year.

Christmas Letter...

I am BACK!!!!!  After seven and a half years, I am doing really well.  No one ever says "remission" to me, but my scans are good and I have been out of chemo for a long, long time.  That is okay, I will take "survivor".

Mason is great.  Amazing at school and still my sensitive boy.  He is beautiful.  He got voted on to Student Council this year which he is so proud of.  He plays full time hockey for the local rink and he even made the B team.

Nolan has surprised me at every turn.  I love and relate to that kid more than he will ever realize.  He is playing U8 soccer in U9 select.  They are taking a pounding, but the results will come.  I am so proud of him.

Grant is happy and busy.  One story for the road.... We drove to the Christmas Tree farm and the orders were, "We are getting a Charlie Brown Tree, so look for the orange paint!"  Mason cried.  He did not like any of the Charlie Brown trees and even offered to pay the $42 difference.  After more investigation, we found a "for sale" tree that he liked.  The hitch?  We had to take the entire tree by ourselves!  They were clearing for a road.  After cutting it down by hand and wrestling all 17 feet of it onto the Explorer, we looked like the Griswold's leaving the lot - laughed at by everyone who passed us!  Up side...we have lots of firewood!

What should also be noted that I could not fit on the page was I was dressed REALLY cute that tree cutting day for pictures.......well, there are no pictures because you should have seen us after cutting down and moving that monster on the truck.  We even had to cut back the branches so Grant could drive.  There was a fair amount of swearing, sap ground into our hands, and my hair, was, well, wilder than normal.  Also, Grant decided to do all the cuts by hand because it was "just one more" and it was too much trouble to get out the sawz all.  He looked at me towards the end and said, "Angie, I am so tired......"  With a bow of my head and closing of my eyes, "I know baby....Merry Christmas....."

So, with balance restored, a calm and healthy house, we bid you an amazing "chirstmas" (per Nolan) and a Happy New Year!

Love, Angie, Grant, Mason Nolan, Molly Moon and Hannah June

And apparently he is back or he can access test results in airports!

At 7:45am, I receive and email that says, 

Scan is good.  There is an area that MAY OR MAY NOT be of concern and it is recommended to get a scan in the next few months.  Nothing definitive.

Now, having been down this road before, and with the absence of the PET scan that may or may not have given a more definitive answer, this result could drive a nubie to the nut house.  Seven and a half years into this, I know that this really is as good as it gets and translated to English means.....

"GO BABY GO!  YOU ARE STILL FREE!"

Best Christmas present ever.

Happy Happy Thursday, Ang

At 2 am, I got an email from Hank.....

"I am in Texas, will get results tomorrow.  Sorry."

Sorry?!?!??  Thank God!  I thought he was dead, or I was going to be dead, and all it was that he was on a trip!  I actually really started thinking.....Is he okay?!?!?

Back to sleep.....

Happy early Thurday, Ang

My Game Face

Life has been busy.  Thanksgiving was a fun weekend; Black Friday Shopping; continual text messages from Grant about Mason's first Hockey Tournament in Portland (that they won!), and going to the Christmas Story with the entire family and Nolan continually saying, "You'll shoot your eye out.", but still asking for a BB Gun.  Mason's 10th birthday was last weekend.  It was an Amazing Race Party.  Holy Cow what planning and outdoor in DECEMBER.  I begged for a half birthday and Masons was like, "It won't rain."  It rained all morning and then the clouds parted and I swear there was sun?!?!?!?!  How do the men in on my family's side have this luck?!?!?!?  I never did.  I rained on my birthday ALL THE TIME - in JUNE!  Work is good.  PTA is busier than I would like it to be, but it will calm down for the break.  But this is not want I am writing about......

My CT scan (now the only scan I am allowed) was scheduled in all this chaos and I said to myself, "I am not going to involve the entire world.  It is high time that I get used to this and it is just a normal thing."  Mind you I already cried at Bible Study just over my appointment with my oncologist in November.  I guess this was a lofty goal.  I was doing okay until Monday night.  Tuesday, my morning appointment canceled, so I went to Yoga Nidra, one of my favorite classes and my teacher gave me a hug.  Angie, "You are humming inside." she said.  I thought that was nice because it felt like something of a roar.  After Yoga, I was better, but life set in.  The Spirit Wear is in.....I know they want to wear it on Friday....I have no time between now and then.  All I want to do it go home and binge watch the Good Wife, but I go to school and distribute Spirit Wear.  Of course there are some mistakes, but those will work themselves out, but not before I email all the teachers, ask them them to check the orders, etc.  Just more work.  One teacher, bless her heart said, "I hope this was a money maker for you with all this work."  At $5/$6 dollars a t-shirt and a $20 hoodie, I am hoping just to break even with correction orders, bounced checks, etc.  Oh well, my mind is off it until my boys get out of school, they help deliver the orders to the classrooms, do some homework in the library, and we get home at 4.  When I exit the building, I am exhausted, panicked, and it is all I can do but vomit.  Grant meets me at Ukulele Lessons, which is now electric guitar lessons since Mason got a shinny new guitar from his Grandma and Auntie for his birthday and I come home with Nolan and go to bed.  All I want to do is sleep and drink orange juice (go figure).

Now, here I sit at 2am.  Doing the opposite of a game face.  Nothing to distract me, hungry (which at least I can eat with the CT scan under just two hours before), and wondering if my run is over.  Can I sign that contract for a fundraiser in January?  Who will do box tops?  I could probably still do that.  Would it start before Christmas?  Can my kids walk home by themselves yet?  Would they stay here during chemo?  My parents can't keep this up.  Can I?  When will I stop feeling this way?!?!?  Will I?  FRICK.  I just have to get through the door of the center tomorrow.  Get through the doors, and I will deal with it then.

My game face SUCKS.

Angie