Thursday, September 30, 2010

Life is gross....

WARNING: This post is not for the weary, but it is funny or, at least, it is to me. ;) Okay, so today is the first day that I have not puked. I actually got two "meals", more like heavy snacks, down with little yogurt to get my system back to "normal". I have lost 14 pounds and if I talk, I cough, so I try not to talk. Yep, Grant is going to be happy about that one! Okay, here is where the gross begins, so don't read it if you can't hack it. Go on....shut down the blog....you can do it - you don't need to know this..... Okay, you know when you are sick, you get a very close up view of your toilet. And, when you live with three males, that can get very, well, educational. Since Sunday at 12:30am, I have been puking and it is always that first puke that you say, "God, I hope that is hot cereal." By Tuesday, I think I was just puking because when I got to the toilet it was so gross. You know, the fabulous combination of vomit, poop, pee - can they aim better?, and other things that grow in that environment. Cleaning it would are been an option if I wasn't winded going up the stairs. Wednesday was especially precious. My Mom had Nolan and she was picking up Mason from school. I had until 3:00 to rest. At 1:00, I vomited all over my bed, got the toilet and realized the bucket was downstairs so, I puked and afterward did a "special" load of laundry. As the washer was going, I drew a stiz bath and got in. Oh, here is some 40 year old and older bath etiquette. Go to the bathroom before you get in even if you (apparently) already did - more to follow. Okay, while in the bath, drain, refill, exhausted, lay back, fall asleep and in my stooper wipe my forever running nose and, yes, PUT IN THE WATER like I was in the shower. That is number two - do not confuse shower habits with bath habits. Screw it - I don't care I am getting out and I will rinse off. So, as I get out of the water, I am shocked, but then I remember, oh yeah, that is where I lose hair when I am in chemo. NICE. This is why people use bubbles. So, my Mom comes at 3:00 with the boys after taking care of Nolan all day, and finds me on the bed with no sheets, no mattress cover, and the duvet over me. (This a classic NO NO in my family. You never get on a mattress without at least the cover on it. I don't know why. I imagine it had something to do with resale LONG LONG ago.) Mom took one look at me, I told her what happened, and said, "Angie, I can stay until Grant gets home. Come on, let's make the bed (translation - let ME make the bed, you go pile yourself over there somewhere) and I would stick with showers......" Slowly on the mend, Ang P.S. I did a cursory cleaning of the toilets today and I think it was hot cereal (bath off the kitchen). ;)

3 comments:

leslie kendall said...

Yeh....you keep telling yourself that it's hot cereal......lol! One of my dearest friends and I quote "You know Lezzzzzlie - one of the best things about living alone is you can spit in the kitchen sink and not have to worry if someone sees you"......lol - I never looked at his kitchen sink the same again! Here's to personal hygiene.....xo

Anonymous said...

There are more things in that toilet bowl than you ever imagined. I got my grandson a microscope for his birthday (12) and among other things he made slides of was what lurks under the inside rim of the commode. After that he kinda lost interest in science for a while. Even 12 year olds have some limits on what they consider gross. Unfortuneately mothers and army recruits see up close and personal the mysteries of Thomas Crapper's wonderful invention. Don't feel bad but it is rarely oatmeal, the odds are overwhelming that it is something else. In spite of everything you are a shining example to the rest of us. love pat&mag

auntie jane said...

I can't think of a single positive thing about this day for you except that the plumbing was indoors. Love Jane